Last Word: Confessions of a technophobe

Social media might be the future, says Helen Lederer, but some things are best done offline

There I was at a family party, being lectured sternly about the merits of Facebook by an eight-year-old, when I realised that no matter how convincing his advocacy, I was at risk of remaining a dyed-in-the-wool internet refusenik. Try as I might to follow his instructions about how to upload a photograph to Facebook if (God forbid) I should ever need to, I just wasn't listening. I reminded myself of my grandmother, who waited until late in life to buy a Kenwood mixer. She had years of empirically proven productive hand-whisking to look back on, so why change?

It's clear, however, that any entrepreneurial or political infrastructure that fails to make use of Twitter, Facebook and the rest will not survive in today's landscape. Like it or not, we have entered a world of 'socialnomics' and the pressure is on to participate. Forgive me if I'd rather not use the recent online service for 'procuring a platonic friend' in my locality, since the ones I've found naturally are more than adequate, thank you. But as someone whose life is not quite over yet, I can't risk being left behind, as I'm sure my eight-year-old adviser would tell me.

Recently, a friend was thrilled to spot a YouTube video link of Tom Waits and Iggy Pop singing 'Coffee and Cigarettes', which he apparently wouldn't have known about without his Facebook friend's recommendation. So instead of looking for the link he didn't know he would like, the link found him. Which he assured me was a good thing. But enough to conclude that this is an advantage? Maybe I'm being nostalgic, but I liked it better when my friends actually came round to my house with their favourite records.

Apparently there are more riches to be shared, however. Social interaction via Twitter, for example, has taken an interesting course by turning celebrity on its head. Instead of fan clubs existing so that fans can idolise the celebrity, the celebrity now tweets because he needs his fans. Humility is a wondrous thing.  

What else is essentially positive about social media? I accept that most human beings want to know what the majority of other human beings are doing. As we microblog and continually update our status, we interact more quickly and more competitively. We constantly take stock of what we are doing and what other people are doing. What used to be heard in the canteen or in the ladies' at lunchbreak now takes place 'live'. 'Keeping up with the Joneses' has become a motivating force in the business sector. The more we make comparisons with one another, the less we are taken in by television advertising, so companies are more inclined to manufacture products with which their clients want to be associated. Social media has purchasing power.

But is the gathering of concrete data about how people think, act and buy entirely innocent? Huge profit will be made from consumer data that is supposed to give the public more of what it wants. Companies will be reaching new heights of understanding about their users, only to bring success to themselves. Smart companies are refraining altogether from advertising and are instead creating incentives for their clients to discuss their products via social media. Let's hope this will result in more employment, rather than in criminal manipulation and intrusion.

An easier 'positive' to comprehend is how the transparent flow of information will expose corporate hypocrisy. For example, if a company donates money to eco-friendly causes but is at the same time responsible for dumping toxic waste, then why should we invest in it?

It isn't all good news, though. Despite social networking sites being quick to declare a responsibility and commitment to ensuring safety, Facebook has been linked with fraud, abduction, suicide and murder. Surely the existence of a tool that can indulge and allow fantasies so easily should be treated with care. Real-world social interaction is a need and a right; without it, the current generation may find itself deprived in ways we have not yet been able to study.

But to finish on a lighter note, as one pal told me: "The worst thing about Facebook is that all the hot chicks are really old geezers with beards." So, speaking as a Luddite, the jury's out.  

Helen Lederer is an actress, writer and comedian.